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enjoy every sandwich
Thursday, 24 February 2005 08:25first I dont want to forget this quote:
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; [learn from them, but then…] forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with old nonsense."
-Emerson
yesterday was definitely a strange one for me . i had applied for a bullshit job that i am way overqualified for out of depression or whatever last week. i got a reply and the companyh knew who i was,etc. i had a very strange conversation with them - they basically tried to get industry info out of me with no intention of hiring me. it was very awful. i will not make that mistake again.
- i FINALLY talked to my sis after not hearing rom her since xmas. what she is going through i cannot imagine, but i just cant stand it when she goes awol. i want this mythical relationship with her and one would think that I would get the message after 40 years, but i keep trying. geeezuss.
talked to both Renee and Tom for a long time - just opened up our mouths and PURGED. i definitely feel better after that. hard times these days for people i care about.
Simon has old biz/friends here from the UK - he went out with them last night, will go to an opening this evening and we will all go to dinner tomorrow night. this definitely cheers him up. this awful cycle we are in is petering out. we are manifesting new, positive patterns. perhaps it sounds strange, but its all in ones attitude and we need to remember that the glass is definitely half full. yea, i know Simon ran his own biz in the UK and was tremendously successful. he left that to become a writer and live with me. its not easy for him, but we have so much to enjoy and appreciate together. My own career stuff is such scrambled eggs. i worked all day yesterday for one client and got some great stuff in the works, but i dont think the client is aware of this. Financially i cannot continue to give them so much time. i have to work on other stuff and finding other projects. its a shame as i am enjoying the work, but its no good if my eye is always on the clock and the pocketbook. i do not believe that there is any payoff here either. maybe i can work another month for them, but that is about it.
i dunno -- i really want to translate my skills and experience into a different arena. working in the stock image/footage world is familiar and all, but i get sick at my stomach with the politics and infighting. everyone knows everyone and with a few exceptions, there just is not alot of new challenges for someone like me in this industry. researching the docs is great fun, but i dont know if i can make a living at it consistently. its a struggle, although i am getting some cool projects. Pilgrims Progress - that is what our lives feel like right now - one step forward and half a step back. we aren't drowning, but getting tired from treading water. i also need to be outside more, living in the city has its benefits and god knows we live in a gorgeous area, but truth be known, i miss my shack in ojai sometimes - the smell of morning, especially... i do feel new resolve today though. cant wait for Simon to get up and tell me about last night.
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; [learn from them, but then…] forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with old nonsense."
-Emerson
yesterday was definitely a strange one for me . i had applied for a bullshit job that i am way overqualified for out of depression or whatever last week. i got a reply and the companyh knew who i was,etc. i had a very strange conversation with them - they basically tried to get industry info out of me with no intention of hiring me. it was very awful. i will not make that mistake again.
- i FINALLY talked to my sis after not hearing rom her since xmas. what she is going through i cannot imagine, but i just cant stand it when she goes awol. i want this mythical relationship with her and one would think that I would get the message after 40 years, but i keep trying. geeezuss.
talked to both Renee and Tom for a long time - just opened up our mouths and PURGED. i definitely feel better after that. hard times these days for people i care about.
Simon has old biz/friends here from the UK - he went out with them last night, will go to an opening this evening and we will all go to dinner tomorrow night. this definitely cheers him up. this awful cycle we are in is petering out. we are manifesting new, positive patterns. perhaps it sounds strange, but its all in ones attitude and we need to remember that the glass is definitely half full. yea, i know Simon ran his own biz in the UK and was tremendously successful. he left that to become a writer and live with me. its not easy for him, but we have so much to enjoy and appreciate together. My own career stuff is such scrambled eggs. i worked all day yesterday for one client and got some great stuff in the works, but i dont think the client is aware of this. Financially i cannot continue to give them so much time. i have to work on other stuff and finding other projects. its a shame as i am enjoying the work, but its no good if my eye is always on the clock and the pocketbook. i do not believe that there is any payoff here either. maybe i can work another month for them, but that is about it.
i dunno -- i really want to translate my skills and experience into a different arena. working in the stock image/footage world is familiar and all, but i get sick at my stomach with the politics and infighting. everyone knows everyone and with a few exceptions, there just is not alot of new challenges for someone like me in this industry. researching the docs is great fun, but i dont know if i can make a living at it consistently. its a struggle, although i am getting some cool projects. Pilgrims Progress - that is what our lives feel like right now - one step forward and half a step back. we aren't drowning, but getting tired from treading water. i also need to be outside more, living in the city has its benefits and god knows we live in a gorgeous area, but truth be known, i miss my shack in ojai sometimes - the smell of morning, especially... i do feel new resolve today though. cant wait for Simon to get up and tell me about last night.
