the great social lubricant
Thursday, 3 February 2005 08:20![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scotcheggAlcohol.
the fact that my dr. told me that a small glass of wine in the evening is good for ET and is an anti-oxident doesnt hurt. but really.
ok - observation: i lived in Ojai for so many years, i had a solid identity there - i fit, sometimes uncomfortably, but i fit. now we have moved to a large metropolis and are meeting new people all the time, socializing so much more than we used to and i find myself in the position of proving myself over and over again. maybe not proving, but explaining for sure. it also has to do with changing careers. i know that Simon deals with this every single day. the difference is that he truly gives not a care about what people think about him and i still struggle with giving the wrong impression. the lesson for me is to be solid enough with who i am to know that i will answer the same question differently on two days and thats ok. its all me.
its exhausting to me though and evil ellen says, i am too old to do this shit. i dont want to do this. but the more one has to present oneself, the more one has to think about how to do so clearly and succinctly.
oh well. i think that is why i drank so much last nite.
i miss blake too - want to see him really badly.
the fact that my dr. told me that a small glass of wine in the evening is good for ET and is an anti-oxident doesnt hurt. but really.
ok - observation: i lived in Ojai for so many years, i had a solid identity there - i fit, sometimes uncomfortably, but i fit. now we have moved to a large metropolis and are meeting new people all the time, socializing so much more than we used to and i find myself in the position of proving myself over and over again. maybe not proving, but explaining for sure. it also has to do with changing careers. i know that Simon deals with this every single day. the difference is that he truly gives not a care about what people think about him and i still struggle with giving the wrong impression. the lesson for me is to be solid enough with who i am to know that i will answer the same question differently on two days and thats ok. its all me.
its exhausting to me though and evil ellen says, i am too old to do this shit. i dont want to do this. but the more one has to present oneself, the more one has to think about how to do so clearly and succinctly.
oh well. i think that is why i drank so much last nite.
i miss blake too - want to see him really badly.
