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[personal profile] scotchegg
http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-anarchist31-2009jan31,0,3296515.story


phew. Keeping her and her mom and my son in my heart and close always.
My dad and both my mothers parents died within a year of each other when I was 9. I have lost friends and family in all manner of passings - from illness,to drugs, to car wrecks to suicide to the folks that just disappear and you cant ever find them.

Maybe its because she grew up with my son and because they loved each other. Maybe its because we always thought that they would end up together as no matter what or who they were with, they always circled back round to find each other. Maybe its because she was my friend too and we could hang, do yoga, cook, laugh, exchange books... Maybe because she was murdered and in my favorite city. I feel so cheated, so hurt and angry, so worried about my son spinning off in his grief. this is where I can write about my heart so I can say that I feel that I have been altered permanently by this.

She inspires me and challenges me. I am volunteering more these days and measuring my words, in what I hope is a wiser way. I dont know about God or the Goddess or an all knowing deity. I know I believe, but more in our possibility and in hope rather than in an all knowing robed wise one. I believe in a karmic wheel and the force of nature.
I believe in the power of love and truth. I am going to watch closely for the miracles that are around us today. Breathe deeply. Listen completely. Raise a glass.

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scotchegg

August 2010

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