getting a headache

and about to take some medicine, BUT i watched tom and viv tonight about TS Eliot and his first -so sad, made me cry and rage. i remembered Camille Claudel, Rodins lover, who died disgraced and in a gutter after he threw her aside. its a bit better for women now than 100 or even 50 years ago, but fuck. i then looked up info on Viv Eliot and found this:
http://books.guardian.co.uk/extracts/story/0,6761,573523,00.html

it made me ill. another case of consider the art, not the artist...

sets my teeth on edge

worked hard today, dodged some bullets.got bitchy with my husband, apologized. saw an old friend and renewed our acquaintance. that was nice. we are working on a project together. she faced breast cancer last year and came through a winner, just a lumpectomy and chemo. she had the most beautiful hair and now its short curly and adorable. she glows with this new vigor for life. i loved seeing her. she took a year off work to deal with the cancer and just really took care of herself. she and her partner took out a second on their house and she has good insurance. what do i REALLY have to worry about now?

have to work with a photog all day tomorrow, but then its the weekend. going to be allright though - am getting a check and more work. going to volunteer at the Aero, an arthouse movie theatre.

would like to see some music. feel like snarling. they found blakes car. its impounded and will cost a bit to get out. blake has to go down there and show the police report. it was run to death, and then abandoned. if i could get my hands on....

simon with his bud Carlo tonight seeing some movie - glad to have the house and my quiet.
paid bills, grrrrrr..... some day, i wont run numbers in my head all day and all night. i looked at a real estate site this am. there are great cabins up in big bear for about half of what a sidewalk square costs here. showed them to simon... we have a 2 year plan.

someone told me they found a batch of barbies in S&M gear at michael Jacksons spread. ya gotta love that.
i need a good book. a really good book. neil gaimans new one isn't out for a few more months.
would like to do yard sales this weekend if i could.
havent been able to work out and feeling rather lumpish.